Disinterested

I guess I could be the hero, not afraid of the world. There be a story written with me not on the being hit end of the spectrum.

Disinterested in the hustle around, be it a breeze or a death tornado. Life's all meek for lost is what's therein to achieve anymore.

Miracles, they happen

Times I wonder, of what that makes people cheat. Is it some kind of insecurity they harbour or that they are to prone to misadventures and mischief?

Some do love the adrenaline rush in doing what is not to be done and what if cried foul of, and therein lies some hint of why they cheat.

Masked with a false sense of higher complex of invulnerability, heinous deeds they commit that is nothing less than adultery. And from your protection, they sneak out to seek, to bite a piece of the forbidden apple.

Less of, you know, and when it happens you are struck, and stuck with none but a sense of despair and disbelief.

Falls on you, worldly trouble mountains and sharp words penetrate your soul making you wish for death to embrace you.

But, miracles do happen. Don't they?

La'illa'ha I'llalahu

(No god, but God)

Diving into

Taking a big risk, I am. I am yet to convince myself of my own capabilities. What I have or is coming my way is not what I want. What I need is something bigger, better and powerful.

Diving into depths from where many couldn't come up to, and me? I expect myself to fly again.

Let's see...

Health Concern

Concerned I am for myself. It'd been 10 months or more since I left the gym and I see the deterioration in the progression with each passing day. Losing muscles I am, for now everything I need to carry seems heavy be it a bucket of water or the gas cylinder. And adding to it is the slowly bulging waistline and falling chest.

Falling to death

How low you be O' life for what you've come upon, left the dearness in you. Are you the lowest low or yet going is this fall to the discouraging depths of shame and disgust. Depths designed to kill my hopes of trying to rise, is where am destined to it seems.

Losing, or maybe stabbed on the back bleeding a slow death I am. And this great fall. Already a bleeding heart, to life I plead for may this fall close my eyes and death embrace me.

Another irritating day tomorrow

Another fictitious day bundled with lots of useless hullabaloo. The irritating bells and whistles associated with certain days of the English calendar exasperate my mind. The vain attempt at making calendar events a mega ceremony feels disturbing.

The flag of defeat

Drooping shoulders, with a limp he dragged himself. Burden with a bagful of past sorrows, on him he had the flag of defeat flown dejectedly. Evident it was from his face, of the sorrows that were drowned in the facade that adore a thousand fake smiles. As he slowly steps towards the sea, with the falling eyes he stares at the sea. The sun be red, losing it's glory to the dark, so be his life done. For his prime be gone, and he is left with neither a hope not a remorse, raises his hand up in the air to cry out for the Lord - "Let this crumbled up be taken to the heavenly abode, for tomorrow be yet another day for thee but not for me."

Turn a new leaf when the book is over!

Confusion reigns in my mind bigtime with heavy doses of regret injected into my blood stream, I lose the tranquility of my inside that I know is burning and yet I don't feel a thing. Doomed I am for how I couldn't foresee what is going on, or how I fell back on regard. Some speak of people changing with time and I say nay. It is not the change but realization of the who they are under the facade. Time is the sole force that makes us and yet the same that breaks us apart. Legends bow to the wrath of time and who are those, your facades that you think won't erode.

Curses be on me, for I failed to acknowledge the upcoming disaster. Now that it had had me in its reins, all I can pray for time to heal those wounds of mine and blind my eyes to the disturbing past.

The bright day yells me to start afresh, to bid the bad bye, but as I turn to Turn a new leaf of life...

Alas! The book of life is over.

Fitness in me

Losing weight isn't always synonymous to getting healthier, but when you are not hitting high and hard in the gym and all you do is cardio sessions, a 3 kg loss in 30 days in commendable.

Hello everyone, here is me still standing at 80 kg, dragging by body across, through my daily schedule. Aiming a 67 kg body weight by Summer.

I also need to drop my waistline from the humongous ugly 102 cm to sexy 77 cm in the same time.

Let me lift again, here we go iron.

Cycling

I tried setting alarms to wake up early morning for a run. I tried and tried but could never succeed.

So, I got myself a bicycle and now am doing lots of kilometers on it everyday. And the extra benifit includes awesome photo opportunities.

Devouring

An allegorical novella by someone who is known for his dystopian satire and sarcasm is just the right thing for me to devour right now. Nothing else, I got hold of the 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell.

A conversation with Failure

Just another day, am up and I have a visitor of the past knocking down my door. Failure has been knocking on my door competing with opportunity on a day to day basis.

Failure, I met you uncountable times, yet you forget my name. Here you are yet again to humble me, but let you know that the stubborn mind I own, I don't ever give up.

Irritating start

Not that I hate kids, but a lot of them I find irritating. From useless demands to screaming and shouting, and that too when he is sitting next to you with his father trying to cross into your territory in a bus, you have less options other than closing your eyes and strangling him in your imagination.

Little dirty monster, ratings chips and fruit drinks and spreading the left over all around the bus floor.

Unable to get on track

The biggest problem am facing right now is my inability to get my life on track. And most importantly, follow a proper standard routine.

Study and sports were my top priorities in school days and somehow I let it loose with age. The Delhi drama is what I feel, the culprit behind the negative slope of life.

Life is bad, and am becoming fat. Yes, you heard it right - big, fat and probably ugly. The habit of competing with the sun to get up early and then competing with myself for that extra 200 m everyday improving myself, the struggle to lift that extra kg more than yesterday, I miss myself.

Hard to believe that I am lying uselessly and feeling guilt due procrastination! The same guy, who never had the time to think of such. The active healthy life is very badly replaced by this deleterious routine.

I need to change a few habits here and there, get up early, go for a run, start lifting, study hard and most importantly I need to start earning some real money.

Life.. Life... I don't ask for a lot, but just a little ignition energy, a little push to overcome this static friction.

Lost strings

In Namrup right now and all I can say is that the place ain't the same it used to be. Things have changed, so are the people. Not at all feeling connected to this place. Skipped visiting my school, skipped meeting teachers and all that is surrounding me is the strange eerie voices calling beneath golden hours of past, buried deep.

The lanes, passing through where I grew suddenly became stranger to me, so do the blue sky. This surely ain't the place it used to be. Namrup lost the glory and simplicity it'd.